It is Sunday, September 15th and I’m finally taking the time to sit down and write a bit about the last months. I can’t believe it’s almost fall. Our summer has been quite busy and even though I really wanted to write during my summer break, I didn’t get to it after all. My last weeks of school in May and June were busy with end of the year things at my school and my girl’s as well. I substituted being a homeroom teacher of a 2-nd grade class for my coworker who had a baby in June. It was extra work, but I really enjoyed it. My second-grade partner teacher and I pulled off a great project week which concluded with a successful circus show. I really enjoyed working with the kids and watching their enthusiasm putting the show together. You can get a glimpse of it here.
Summertime
Then, the last day of school came (“The day of the right career choice”, as my friend in Cologne likes to call it) and summer break started. My younger daughter and I left for Germany only three days later. For two reasons, my older one stayed home in California with her dad:
1. She had done the lifeguard training and got a job at one of the neighborhood community pools and
2. she was going to fly to Germany in August for a 4-months student exchange.
My little one and I had three lovely weeks in Germany, visiting family, friends and staying in my happy place for one week. The highlight was that we got to spend this time with two of my best friends. One from Cologne and one from California, it was so special. ❤️ Haven’t heard about my happy place yet? Read a bit more about it here. Overall we had three very good weeks and in comparison with other visits over the last years, this stay felt really good, mostly for these reasons:
- It was short and sweet.
- We did a lot of things that WE wanted to do.
- We made it a vacation.
- I spent a lot of time with my parents.
Back in California, we chilled a lot. My older daughter took the permit test at the DMV and started driving with us. This was a very unexpected, terrifying experience for me. Moving here, eleven years ago, I wasn’t aware that I basically signed up to be my children’s personal driving instructor. It is such a big responsibility and frankly, I prefer the German system of having to take lessons with a driving school.
Another big adventure this summer was putting in a pool in our backyard. The project is unfortunately not completed yet, and we had a pretty shitty experience with the contractor, but to have a pool again is simply wonderful. The kids already had so much fun and it just transforms your backyard into a little resort. It just makes so much more sense to put on a bikini and to enjoy a “Schirmchendrink” (umbrella drink)
End of July, I went on a little “farewell” trip with my 15-year old. She and I drove to Long Beach, stayed for three nights and spent one night on Catalina Island. We had a wonderful time and I will have to write more about it in a separate post. I truly enjoyed spending this time with her and now with her being far away, I often think back to these days.
Lots of visitors
After this fun trip, my younger one and I had to start school again. August was busy with school, work, getting ready for M’s departure and two families visiting. It was a lot, but I wouldn’t want to miss a day. We were nine people at times, but I enjoyed all the pool time, dinners and late-night conversations. One thing I regret about our summer though is that we didn’t have the time for a family vacation. Each of us spent a lot of time with one child, but we didn’t really have time all four of us.
Student Exchange in Germany
Last year in March or so, we finally made the decision to stay in California, at least until the girls would be done with school. We told them, that we really want them to spend one semester of school in Germany though. Of course, they did not like the idea at first and to get where we are now, was quite a process. We thought about the options for our older one. We didn’t want her to stay with family, because it was supposed to be a real exchange with someone of her age. None of our friends in Cologne have kids at her age but by chance, I asked a friend whom I met here in California, and who had moved back to Freiburg last summer. She and her family* agreed to take her for three months and the planning started.
* Their daughter will most likely not come and stay with us since she went three years to middle school and wanted to move back to Germany. But maybe, our daughter will make another friend who would like to go to school in California for a while? We will see.
The best things are the hardest
Our daughter was originally not up for it though. A few times, she cried and said that she doesn’t want to do it, she doesn’t want to leave her friends, she thought that she won’t be able to handle it. It wasn’t easy to not give in but to follow through. As I said, it was a process. We kept telling her all the fun things she would experience, how much more freedom she’d have living in a city like Freiburg and how much her German would improve. She started to like the idea of having a “host sister” her age and to be close to her friend in Zurich. And over time, she came around. When my friend sent her pictures of her room, she even got a bit excited. She showed them to her friends here and they all realized together that this would actually happen. In hindsight, I can see that it must have also been hard for her because no one here is doing anything like this. Unfortunately, it is not common, like in Europe, for high school students to go abroad for an exchange semester or year. And as we all remember, being a teenager, you really don’t want to be different or stand out.
But she did it. Step by step, she prepared herself and we prepared ourselves for the day of departure. On August 17th she flew to Germany and spent some time with the family first. Last Sunday, my husband dropped her off at her host family and last Wednesday, she had her first day of school. Last week was probably the hardest. New school, new faces, new routines and German all day long! But she managed pretty well. The first day was obviously overwhelming and she will have to get used to the idea that she will get some lower grades than here in the US, where’s she always has been a stellar student.
My friend, who recently spent six months in Luxemburg said: “It is always harder for the ones who stay behind.” And she’s right. I do miss my daughter A LOT.
- There’s an empty room,
- there’s someone missing at breakfast and dinner,
- there’s someone missing who needs to get to swim practice,
- there’s someone missing who always locks the door and I have to wait for her to open it so I can talk to her face to face,
- there’s a laugh missing,
- there’s someone missing rolling her eyes,
- there are lots of teenage girls missing who are hanging out around our house,
- there’s someone missing who needs driving lessons and
- there’s someone missing who has been singing “Killer Queen” a lot.
All of this makes me SO HAPPY. And proud. And a little bit jealous, too.
But after only four weeks, our daughter already has experienced so much that I hoped she would. She spent time with family, reconnected with her two old friends in Cologne and Zurich. She’s getting on very well with her “new sister”. She’s going to a German gymnasium, introduced herself to teachers and did her first homework in Germany. She found a swim club. She started reading a book by Martin Suter, watched German TV, got a Bahn Card, took the train by herself and made herself useful in her new home.
It’s hard at times, but it’s gonna be so worth it.
