Germans and Americans are different, just as Chinese and Argentinians or Indians and Mozambicans. As a German expat living in the US I’m always interested in cultural differences between our two nations. I already wrote about it in my post “pineapple vs. coconut”. These differences can affect communication in business or social environments like the German honesty or bluntness that is often frowned upon by Americans.
A couple weeks ago I took my two daughters to the “Kellogg’s tour of the champions”. This is a gymnastics gala where all the reigning and former olympic and world champions showed off their athletic and artistic skills in all the different disciplines of gymnastics. It was a great show and very special for my girls to see Simone Biles in action. But. Then. At the end. On a huge screen in they showed videos of former medal celebrations and these clips were divided by many gymnasts of different generations reciting the lyrics of the American anthem. Not once, but many times. Over and over again.
Oh say can you see, Oh say can you see, Oh say can you say, … the home of the brave, the home of the brave, the home of the brave…
You get the picture. The movie was well made, but a bit cheesy and I had a hard time listening. It made me feel uncomfortable. Did you ever hear the word “fremdschämen”? It means to feel embarrassed on behalf of someone else.
So astonishingly, after more than eight years in California, I realized what I think is the biggest difference between Germans and Americans: It is their level of patriotism.
Americans are patriots and patriotism plays a big role in this country. My children say a pledge of allegiance to the flag every day at school. I don’t necessarily like that, but we live in this country and we have to acknowledge the American love of their flag and anthem. They play it before every sports game and official function, they lay their right hand on their heart and sing along. This type of extraordinary patriotism is something Germans have a hard time with. Our relationship to patriotism is guilt-ridden and very complicated. Americans and Germans of my generation were brought up extremely different. Germans were raised to feel guilty for our dark history, for everything our ancestors had done during WWII and the holocaust. Every year of my time in high school I learned that I have be humble and to do anything to seek redress for the German atrocities of that time. It was never ok to wave your flag, let alone to put your hand on your heart while listening to the anthem. You just could not do that! The only time we heard the anthem was basically at international football games and when some German won a world championship or a gold medal in the olympics. And even then you kind of felt like “Oh, is that awkward now?”
American children were and still are educated quite differently. Here, they are taught at school and home that they are desired, unique and wonderful, and that they can achieve anything they want. That is great, don’t get me wrong and I also don’t want to say that German parents don’t love their children or tell them how great they are. American children though, are raised according to the principle of the American exceptionalism, so they basically grow up to believe that they live in the greatest and strongest country in the world.
The attitude towards patriotism in Germany first really changed in 2006, when Germany hosted the FIFA World Championship and the motto was “Friends hosting the world”. The atmosphere during the whole event was exceptionally friendly and peaceful and for the first time in decades the Germans didn’t feel bad to hang a flag outside their windows, to clip one on your car or to sing the anthem. It was the first time people felt proud to be German without guilt. And ever since we are not afraid to show our flag when “Die Mannschaft” plays in an international championship. But, we will always walk on that fine line between patriotism and nationalism. We will always be aware of that and I think that is a good thing. Interesting enough though, I would more likely wave my flag and be proud of my country here in California than I’d do back in Germany. It feels easier here because so many people are from somewhere else and are happy to share that.
I’m pretty sure that multiple articles about that topic were written of very smart, intercultural specialists, but for me it was kind of eye-opening and I think it explains several of our other disparities like the blunt honesty we are known for. This trait might originate from our obligation to atonement. We have to be sincere. We should not allege that anything could be true or could be working if you feel it’s not, because that is pretending of incorrect facts and Germans don’t like to be accused of being a fraud. On the contrary, Americans have a much more positive attitude in general. An American in any business meeting has no problem whatsoever to tell some clients that everything is gonna work out just fine, because why not? We can do this! German objectivity and our propensity of being realistic and rather negative is not sensible. I’m not saying that Germans always say the truth!
Living here, I’m honestly quite content that our own children grow up with both sides of the medal. Going to an American public school, they hear what all others hear, too, but they listen to it distinctively different because they are not Americans and learn about history, in particular the German history from us. They grow up in a very positive environment that encourages children to give their best and follow their dreams.
Despite our terrible past I’m proud that my country is trying its best to help refugees from Syria and North Africa. I think everyone should be proud of their home country for their own reasons, but it is necessary to be respectful and tolerant of other nationalities. At this time I wonder, how much patriotism is appropriate?
