I don’t even know what the title of this blogpost is gonna be yet, but I feel I have to write my thoughts down this morning to get some clarity. Sometimes, living in the Silicon Valley really sucks for me. I’m woman, a wife, a mother, and like many of us, I struggle with focusing on one thing. I tend to multitask. Doing one thing, I’m thinking about another one and making a list for the third one. Not really effective, I know. I’m challenging myself every day to get better, to focus and not to look at what other people do. But that is a struggle for me. It is very hard because here in ApplefacebookGoogleland there is always something you still haven’t done, you still have to do and you shouldn’t miss out on. There is always a brunch, a happy hour, a meeting, a school function, another social event or activity you could go to, sign up for and you have to bring the perfect dish. You don’t just bring some baked good for the teacher appreciation day, no it has to be singularly wrapped in foil with a flower attached, like for a fucking baby shower. Everyone lives in the world of Pinterest and tries to contribute something even better and more original than the last time or than the other mom. It’s like in the business world my husband works in. You cant’ be mediocre, you have to stand out or you’ll be out. You have to be on your iPhone 24/7. You have to make sure your kids are on the right sports team and sell enough Girl Scout cookies. You don’t just go for a run and spontaneously follow the winding course of your thoughts. No, you go for a run with your running group to make it a social event or you listen to a podcast to make it worthwhile. And everything is so short-lived as well. This month it is Bikram Yoga, the next it is Barré. You have to make sure you’re going to do something special on at least two weekends a month and make sure that you have the campground reservations for the holiday weekends at least 6 months in advance. It’s absolutely exhausting! I remember that one of my German friends told me about her friends, that used to live here and now moved back to Munich, Germany. This woman told my friend that it is so liberating to just do nothing on the weekends, because you’re not in California where she felt like if she didn’t make enough plans, she’d miss out. But sometimes great things are gonna happen if you didn’t make a plan. I want to work on making less plans and not beating myself up for not having one. Life is busy enough already.
The intercultural coach I’m working with right now draws this beautiful picture of boulders that are on our trail of life. Boulders like “I can’t do that.”, “It is too much.”, “I’m not good enough.” Boulders that are lies we tell ourselves every day. There are quite some boulders on my trail and I’m determined to climb over or to roll them away. I have try to step out of this world of pressure for a while. I want to slow down my life a bit and it’s great that summer is coming up. Perfect time for “Entschleunigung” – German for “slowing things or life down”.
I’m pretty sure some of the people I know and who are gonna read that post will shake their heads in disbelief or even disapproval. And I understand. I just needed to get that out. It’s part of walking down that trail and trying to overcome these boulders. So, please bear with me.
picture on top nwaber.wordpress.com
